Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
