if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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