Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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