Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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