Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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