U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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