Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
