so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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