I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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