Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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