I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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