We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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