but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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