I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Michael Bay diarrhea
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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