Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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