I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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