beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize