When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
