The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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