my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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