I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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