i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Never joke about your clitoris.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
