I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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