They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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