yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
