Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
