so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
