How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
