I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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