Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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