phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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