She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
