The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
