there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
