I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
