the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
