We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
