That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
