Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
