We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
