Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
