One girl and one boy is just not enough.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
