You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
