direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
