Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
