Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
