well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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