I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
