Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
