11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i think i have two assholes
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
