Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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