I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
