Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
