ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
