i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
