ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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