It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
