I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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