I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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