We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i think i just lost a toe
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize