So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
