party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
