Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
